On the latest episode of Mind Matters, host Kiley Como sat down with Paula Walters, a passionate trauma-informed advocate, to unpack the deep, often invisible toll that traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) and trauma leave on survivors.
What emerged was an unflinching and incredibly personal look at what it really means to live with – and navigate – life after trauma.
Trauma Is More Than Emotional: The Body Remembers
As Paula explains, trauma doesn’t just leave emotional scars. It lodges itself in the body.
“People think trauma is just emotional,” she says. “But what they don’t see are the invisible injuries – the chronic pain, neurofatigue, memory gaps, emotional dysregulation.”
For many survivors, just getting out of bed in the morning can feel impossible. Cancelling appointments or failing to fill out paperwork isn’t laziness – it’s often the physiological result of trauma. Sadly, these behaviors are frequently misunderstood by professionals, leading to survivors being labeled as “non-compliant” or “unreliable.”
And that labeling has consequences. It can cost survivors access to care, legal protections, and even their sense of self-worth.
Misunderstood Symptoms: How the System Fails Survivors
Paula’s advocacy emphasizes the need to recognize trauma’s ripple effects — especially when the survivor’s story doesn’t follow a clear or expected narrative.
Survivors may struggle with:
- Memory gaps or blurred timelines
- Emotional outbursts or flattened affect
- Sensory overwhelm
- Inconsistent follow-through
This can lead to devastating legal consequences. Paula shared her own story of surviving strangulation – a form of trauma that often causes an anoxic brain injury. Due to gaps in her memory, her abuser’s charge was pled down from a felony to a misdemeanor. He later went on to victimize another young girl.
“No blood flow to the brain means no memory,” she said. “And yet, we penalize people for not remembering trauma clearly.”
Her story isn’t unique. Time and again, survivors’ memories are questioned, their behavior misinterpreted, and their credibility undermined.
Why Trauma-Informed Care Matters – In Every Profession
From law enforcement to healthcare, and even in the workplace, trauma-informed care is essential. As Paula says, the goal is to shift from judgment to understanding:
“Instead of asking, ‘What’s wrong with you?’ we need to ask, ‘What happened to you?’”
A trauma-informed approach means:
- Expecting inconsistency, not perfection
- Allowing survivors time and space to process
- Following up with reminders and accommodations
- Avoiding assumptions based on appearance (“you look fine” is a harmful phrase)
- Creating safe spaces for rest and recovery
Kiley added how at Shane Smith Law, the team has developed specialized screening tools to help identify hidden brain injuries early – especially in car crash victims – so they can receive proper care and their case can be handled with the right lens of empathy and understanding.
Building Trust, One Conversation at a Time
Perhaps the most powerful takeaway? Trust is the foundation for any meaningful interaction with a survivor – and it doesn’t come easy.
“They’ve been wired for protection, not connection,” Paula shared. “You have to work every day to earn their trust.”
Her advice to professionals: offer options, be honest about your own limitations, and listen. Whether it’s adjusting the lighting in an office, following through on a promise, or just allowing space to speak without judgment, these small acts can have a massive impact.
Final Thoughts: “Just Let Them Be Seen and Heard”
What trauma survivors need more than anything, Paula reminds us, is to be seen and heard – without skepticism or suspicion. Their stories might be nonlinear, messy, or emotional. But they’re also valid, and they’re asking for grace – not a cross-examination.
As Paula put it:
“She messaged me later and said, ‘Thank you for seeing me.’ That’s all it took – someone to believe her.”
To learn more about Paula’s advocacy and story, visit her platform The Courageous Survivor.
And if you or a loved one has suffered a brain injury due to trauma or a car crash, know that you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Contact Shane Smith Law at 980-999-9999 — In pain? Call Shane!
